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How I Got Here – A Decade of Pictures Explaining My Story

I have been planning this post for a long time. I debated doing so, because in a way I am exposing myself further to the world, but I feel before people come on here and offer help or criticism, they need to see that I wasn’t always heavy enough to have to buy a deluxe scale for home use. I’m going to try to give a little back story to the pics along with rough dates and weights when the photo was taken. Enjoy!

This first one is the lowest weight I remember being…EVER. Going through middle school I was fat and wore baggy clothes. I was reasonably athletic and nice to everyone, so fitting in wasn’t too hard, but I was terribly uncomfortable in my own skin. Once I reached high school I began lifting weights when I felt like it my freshman year (1995). I noticed I did change my body composition a bit, though my idea of healthy dieting at the time was to eat as little fat as possible…you know, because fat makes you fat   My sophomore year I joined wrestling because I broke up with my girlfriend for a few months and I needed something to occupy my mind and my time, and because my friends in the older grades pushed me hard to do so. I weighed in at 232 lbs at a height of around 5’11″. I was terribly out of shape and fat, and asthma was a monster concern for such a physical sport. I went slow and sucked it up, and when I watched the scale drop DAILY I was insanely happy and motivated. Wrestling workouts are a beat down, and I was actually thriving on it. I was running longer and harder than the track kids in my gym class and by the end of the season I’d dropped just over 40 lbs to 190 lbs! I was so proud but so disappointed, because I was still only about 15% bodyfat, and still pretty soft. I remember letting myself into the wrestling room after school and simulating workouts to try to lose weight, but it wasn’t the same. My junior and senior years I struggled to drop much more weight and my lowest point was about 185 lbs, though I did manage to add quite a bit of muscle while training for football and my own personal goals. The first pic was the winter of my senior year in 1999. I had a class that required us to “own” our own magazine and recruit other classmates to write articles for us and we for them. Mine was all about pro wrestling, because I was awesome. I needed a picture for the “About the Editor” page and I wanted to have fun with it. Nothing says dominating world champ like flannel pants and a fake championship belt. I was proud though to take off my shirt and have some definition and leanness to my body. I was really grunting and straining when I took this one…

Once I left high school I entered college at the University of Wisconsin Stevens Point for a year, before transferring to Madison Edgewood the following year…before returning to UWSP where I’d later graduate. I did not gain the freshman 15, because I entered college around 205 lbs and hovered around that for a while. It still wasn’t my ideal, ripped physique, but about now I would happily take it. Here is me in the fall of 2000 at an ECW show in Milwaukee where I met Tommy Dreamer, who was a very cool guy.

Now is where my demise begins. I decided not long after that show to figure out how to get freaky big and muscular. I owned the Arnold Bodybuilding Encyclopedia and several muscle magazines, but no one told me those guys took thousands of dollars worth of illegal drugs every week to look that way. I was naive. After a lot of searching online, I bought the book from Musclenow.com and read it in 2 days. While I will admit the workouts were new and wonderful for me (I used them up until 2005) I ate like a pig to help build muscle…or so I’d convinced myself. I didn’t do the cardio like the book said because the gym at Edgewood was a piece of shit with NO cardio equipment, and I wasn’t running in 10 degree weather. In about 2-3 months I’d gone from 205 to about 250 lbs. It wasn’t until I was actually 250 that I took an honest look in the mirror and at my expanding clothing sizes and realized what hole I’d dug for myself. This was my weight for about 3 years, and it even pushed up to about 265 lbs by the spring of 2003. As much as I tried, I had no idea how to diet the fat off, despite trying all kinds of calorie levels, the Atkins diet, and about $600 worth of programs and plans I’d bought. This is me in the winter of 2002 – 2003:

Just before leaving for summer break in 2003, I bought the fat loss manual off of ronharrismuscle.com. His plan was based on a lot of cardio, eating healthy, and placing carbs around your weight workouts. I went balls out that summer and I dropped down to about 230 lbs, and I looked and felt great compared to before. In addition, I was benching around 320 lbs x 1, squatting 525 lbs x 1, and deadlifting 425 lbs x 1. I was so very proud of myself. Here are a few from the end of that summer:

During that summer I also set a goal. I wanted to have a sweet costume for Halloween on State Street in Madison…this was before it was lame and they sold tickets. I was going to diet down to be the Incredible Hulk. By Halloween, I was about 220 lbs and I went through with the costume:

By January of 2004, I met the hoochie I’d later call my wife (she’s going to love reading that). The following is amongst the last batch of photos I took that didn’t disgust me (I’m about 235 lbs here):

From late 2004 into mid 2006, I graduated with a teaching degree and hated everything about teaching once I was in the classrooms. I didn’t get a job and I was broke. Things were far from ideal and we began going out a lot, having parties, and eating like crap. I slowly convinced myself what I was doing was acceptable and I would just fix it later when life turned around…well, I’m still waiting. Here I am on my wedding day in September 2006 at about 290 lbs.

As if the unhealthy bloat and discomfort could not possibly get worse, it did. I eventually pushed it into the 300′s and as high as 320:

So now here I am in the present day, trying to forget those last couple of pictures. I used to be someone all my friends came to for training help, but I cannot be that person until I can take care of myself. I feel motivated, I feel strong, and I feel the real me coming back later this year.

-Dan

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