gofatkid.com

Reflecting and Recharging

Dude.


Has it really been 6 months since I last touched this site? Really? It’s been a tough year thus far…


My wife and I have been through way more than we wanted since we clicked over to 2011. We both were hopeful for better things than 2010, but so far, more challenges. Job changes, stress, personal stuff, etc. I was quietly working out hard at the very beginning of the year, but life has gotten in the way, as I always seem to allow it to do.


That FEELS like it is changing, at least for now. I am on vacation this week…the first in 2 years actually. This week I have spent WAY too much time thinking about myself. Why? Because we are on our annual trip to Glen Arbor, MI, and the week is spent on a lake. This means time outside, on the water, concealing my fatness from the world with a cutoff t-shirt. I used to be able to pull it off with decent-ish arms and a reasonable build, but that was years ago. I hate it, but I am a disgusting site sans shirt, and I’m terribly uncomfortable with myself. Couple that with the fact I’m surrounded by people, some of which I perceive at times to judge my lack of fitness and ideal health, and it is a recipe for self loathing and insecurity. All I find myself thinking about this week is, “GET ME THE FUCK HOME SO I CAN START A NORMAL ROUTINE THAT INCLUDES KICKING MY ASS AND DROPPING SOME WEIGHT!”


That is coupled with motivation from someone close to me. My cousin whom I’ve grown up with has never been much of an athletic guy. He was average-ish in high school (body-wise) and UW Madison did its part to thicken him up a bit over his years there. In 2003 when I did my Hulk thing, he also lost a fair amount of weight by busting his ass alongside me. Since then, he, like me, has made many attempts of 2-4 week spurts to lift weights and do cardio as a kick start to rekindle the success of 2003. We both sucked, until this spring. Brian is a Timothy Ferriss fan, and he was first in line to buy his new book, The 4 Hour Body. Tim Ferriss is, in my opinion, a bit of a con artist and snake oil salesman. Some of what he presents (based on my experiences reading his books) seems to be based on theories or best case scenarios rather than realistic and attainable expectations. That said, Brian has dropped something like 40 lbs in the last 3.5 months, so Tim’s book does have some good info in it. This is the first time in as long as I can recall that you look at him and think he looks SKINNY. He still has more to lose, but he’s far different now than at my birthday party in April.


I have many thoughts on his accomplishments. For one, I am happy for him. He swears by this diet and says its the best, he loves it, blah blah blah. I told him there’s nothing miraculous about it, he just followed a structured eating plan without deviation for more than a few days. I like some of the diet and intend to incorporate some things for myself, but that is not the point. Brian changed himself and his body. But for me, there is some competitive failure I feel. Athletic and physical accomplishments have always been something I was better at than he was. He excelled by using his brains, I was always able to excel through physical things. But now, he has blown past me and its serving as an additional bit of motivation.


Anyway, this is probably my 9th “now I’m really going to do it and get it done” blog post since I started this site 2 years ago. It’s pathetic, but I know at some point I have to get it together…even I can’t fail forever.


-Dan

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