Dude.
Has it really been 6 months since I last touched this site? Really? It’s been a tough year thus far…
My wife and I have been through way more than we wanted since we clicked over to 2011. We both were hopeful for better things than 2010, but so far, more challenges. Job changes, stress, personal stuff, etc. I was quietly working out hard at the very beginning of the year, but life has gotten in the way, as I always seem to allow it to do.
That FEELS like it is changing, at least for now. I am on vacation this week…the first in 2 years actually. This week I have spent WAY too much time thinking about myself. Why? Because we are on our annual trip to Glen Arbor, MI, and the week is spent on a lake. This means time outside, on the water, concealing my fatness from the world with a cutoff t-shirt. I used to be able to pull it off with decent-ish arms and a reasonable build, but that was years ago. I hate it, but I am a disgusting site sans shirt, and I’m terribly uncomfortable with myself. Couple that with the fact I’m surrounded by people, some of which I perceive at times to judge my lack of fitness and ideal health, and it is a recipe for self loathing and insecurity. All I find myself thinking about this week is, “GET ME THE FUCK HOME SO I CAN START A NORMAL ROUTINE THAT INCLUDES KICKING MY ASS AND DROPPING SOME WEIGHT!”
That is coupled with motivation from someone close to me. My cousin whom I’ve grown up with has never been much of an athletic guy. He was average-ish in high school (body-wise) and UW Madison did its part to thicken him up a bit over his years there. In 2003 when I did my Hulk thing, he also lost a fair amount of weight by busting his ass alongside me. Since then, he, like me, has made many attempts of 2-4 week spurts to lift weights and do cardio as a kick start to rekindle the success of 2003. We both sucked, until this spring. Brian is a Timothy Ferriss fan, and he was first in line to buy his new book, The 4 Hour Body. Tim Ferriss is, in my opinion, a bit of a con artist and snake oil salesman. Some of what he presents (based on my experiences reading his books) seems to be based on theories or best case scenarios rather than realistic and attainable expectations. That said, Brian has dropped something like 40 lbs in the last 3.5 months, so Tim’s book does have some good info in it. This is the first time in as long as I can recall that you look at him and think he looks SKINNY. He still has more to lose, but he’s far different now than at my birthday party in April.
I have many thoughts on his accomplishments. For one, I am happy for him. He swears by this diet and says its the best, he loves it, blah blah blah. I told him there’s nothing miraculous about it, he just followed a structured eating plan without deviation for more than a few days. I like some of the diet and intend to incorporate some things for myself, but that is not the point. Brian changed himself and his body. But for me, there is some competitive failure I feel. Athletic and physical accomplishments have always been something I was better at than he was. He excelled by using his brains, I was always able to excel through physical things. But now, he has blown past me and its serving as an additional bit of motivation.
Anyway, this is probably my 9th “now I’m really going to do it and get it done” blog post since I started this site 2 years ago. It’s pathetic, but I know at some point I have to get it together…even I can’t fail forever.
-Dan
Popularity: 3% [?]
True story.
Who the hell doesn’t update for 2 months? This guy. I’m ok though, because I know all 2 of of you are wondering numerous times a day have been concerned. I have weigh in pics from a few weeks ago, and I think the weight was around 311 lbs…a definite improvement. These days I’ve dipped to about 307 lbs, and I’m slowly progressing in the right direction. I have some sweet skinny jeans I finally fit in, and the fit is perfect. Very exciting stuff…
That is all. I felt I had to post something, and I have to start using this site more than I do.
-Dan
Popularity: 6% [?]
Baby steps are good, especially for me right now. I’m 10 days into this p90x trial, and I still feel very motivated. I am renewed in my interest to read about training, diet, etc, which is great, because when that happens I seem to be better at taking care of myself. AND, I started day 1 around 326 lbs, and I was 323.2 lbs this morning…baby steps, because if weight loss were linear, that would mean I would weigh about 299 on day 90, averaging a 3lb loss every 10 days.
Unfortunately, I have not worked out the last 2 days, and I’m upset with myself for it. My wife is going through a rough patch right now, and I’m doing my best to pick up a lot of slack around the house. By the time I get to a point where I can hit a solid workout, it is late, and I am exhausted. Life is wearing me down right now. I feel like I have a debt crisis w/ my sleep levels right now, because I’m so far behind on it.
All of that said, my wife works all weekend, and I have my boys at home with me. I tend to do well these weekends in terms of “getting stuff done” because I know it is just me, and I step things up. Hopefully I can sneak in a morning and night workout in the coming days…time to get my conditioning and performance levels up a bit!
-Dan
Popularity: 6% [?]
Still going, 8 days later.
I made the mistake last night of doing the p90x Plyometrics workout, which was 1 day following the Legs and Back workout, which was about 3 months since doing any leg workout. Stupid, stupid. My lower body feels like crap, but in a good way I suppose. The legs portion is really hard for me to do, because a man who is 324 lbs, who has poor flexibility, cannot do repeated lunges effectively. I tried to keep up, but I admit I not only did not do every exercise and every rep, but I performed some without going as deep or holding it as long. Sorry, I’m trying, I really am. I need to ease into this whole thing right now, and I need to approach this with the mindset that I’m not in reasonable shape like I once was. In fact, I’m really not even within the “shape” that is recommended to be using a program like this…
On to the Plyometric workout. It’s a bitch. Lots of jumping and quick movements. Again, sore lower body from the Legs workout + 324 lbs + POOR current level of conditioning = partial effort, but still a butt kicker. I’m truly excited to see how much of these workouts I’m able to complete in a month, in 90 days, etc. While p90x is only one vehicle to get you to your goals, I will admit, it is structured and planned and it keeps me structured and planned, which I have lacked.
-Dan
Popularity: 6% [?]
Officially had my 1st workout with p90x on 11/9/10. Today would be day 7, and I plan on getting to the Legs and Back DVD tonight. Friday I’d hoped to get home from work early, workout, then pick my kids up from the sitter, but none of that happened because some days things don’t go your way. Saturday…LONG day. In laws in town and I cleaned and cooked alone so my wife could devote time to her family. Exhausting day and I lacked energy and drive on Sunday. So now, 7 days into it I’m about 2 workouts short, but life will go on.
Sorry my posts lack meat and excitement…really, I’m sorry I’m short, boring, and to the point. I am just busy and lacking dramatic weight loss and life changing advice. It will come.
-Dan
Popularity: 5% [?]
Hurtin’ is the word of the day…
The p90x workouts are a lot of volume (sets and reps) that are performed back to back. This not only keeps the heart rate up, but it puts a lot of micro trauma on the muscles being worked in a short amount of time. When you haven’t worked out with weights in months, as is my case, there will be some pain in the days that follow, which is where I’m at right now. My chest, arms, and upper back are killing me, but in a good way.
Last night was my day 2, which I used to do the Kenpo X cardio workout. I was initially disappointed, because once the warmup is done (which I always skip…zzzzzz….) it goes into some stupid punch combinations. I feel like I’m wasting my time with them, because I’m not sweating and huffing like they are on the video…and YES, I am pushing it hard like they are. I think they film in a studio that is 105 degrees, because no way should physically fit, physically conditioned adults be working up a lather doing punch combinations. Eventually, the workout picks up and my heart rate soared into the 160′s, which was wonderful.
Feeling good today overall, and despite the pain, I’m planning to follow the program tonight by doing the (I think) Shoulders and Arms workout. It is nice to feel excited to push it again. I think I will be doing weigh ins and pictures every 10 days, so it will be on day 10, 20, 30, etc.
-Dan
Popularity: 7% [?]
Last night, the p90x chest and back workout was performed, albeit poorly, in the comfort of my basement. With both my boys looking on, I went through the non stop barrage of push up and pull up variations. I definitely have a long way to go, as many of the push ups were done on my knees, and the pull ups were done on my cable pulldown setup. I am trying to ease into it and still stay intense, but I was huffing and puffing for sure.
Thought for today is this: sometimes in life, 2 of the hardest things to overcome are laziness and yourself, as I am discovering now. When I reach my goal I have halfheartedly tried to reach since 2005, I KNOW I will have fixed myself. I will have fixed the weak minded tendencies, the self esteem issues, the self control issues, and so on. I also will hopefully overcome being lazy…as in putting things off because I will do them later, etc. Usually in life, the things we want to do the least are the things we must do before everything else.
-Dan
Popularity: 5% [?]
Been sitting on the p90x DVD’s for a while now, but I think some personal pride has gotten in the way of using them. My brain insists on using my home gym and lifting free weights, but 1) I’m not burning calories as quickly, and 2) I’m not even working out at the moment. I think the time has come to do it “not my way” because obviously at 320+ lbs, it isn’t working.
Anyone reading, please say a prayer for me. Everything in life is going a million miles an hour, and I feel overwhelmed with it at times, and the last thing I save time and energy for is myself and my body/health. I see p90x as a structured, intense block of 3 months that can at least put a 20-30 pound dent in my situation. I’m optimistic and hopeful yet again, and the best part is that I’m not doing what I have for the last 16 or so months.
-Dan
Popularity: 6% [?]
One week back at a good diet…baby steps…
My wife told me a few weeks back about how hard my son’s hospital stay and brush with death was on her, and I think it was for me too. This was really the first week I focused on getting my health and diet on track since his infection in mid August. I’ve struggled lately to do much besides focus on my family, household chores, and being generally sluggish. Enough is enough, let’s try this journey again.
Managed to weigh in at 320.2 lbs, down 5.4 lbs from last week. Not bad at all…
Tape also moved too. I’m down .5 inches from last week, to 55 inches even.
I’m hoping I needed to take several steps back to take several more forward. I got a $600-$700 Marcy brand Smith Machine for my home gym…for FREE a while back, but it is still in pieces in my basement. I have a big weekend of cleaning planned, and I’m hoping by next week to finally start back up with the weights again.
Sorry these updates lack detail and excitement. I think I’m lacking the inspiration and desire to write I have had in previous posts. I’m hoping with time and progress to regain that as well.
-Dan
Popularity: 8% [?]
Ya, I know…It’s been a while…
I think rock bottom is loosely defined as reaching a scenario where their circumstances cannot be any worse. Some people say they hit rock bottom, and it is time to go up from there. Some people though, reach rock bottom, then go to great lengths to jackhammer through the bottom and dig a little deeper. The latter would be me. I’m not going to make excuses, or provide poor explanations. Truth is, while consistency has lacked for me, I’m still trying.
Reached a new high score on the scale after not weighing myself for a few weeks while I abused my body further. I weighed in at a new personal max weight of 325.6 lbs. The front shot of me says it all…a deeply disgusted, thumbs down.
The tape was also far from kind to me, at 55.5 inches of love tank girth.
What can be said? I’m giving it a go once again and I pray I can stay consistent.
-Dan
Popularity: 6% [?]
Personal Progress Blog | Dan July 20, 2011 | 
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